Does Joe gets on your Wick?

He’s got it all: a 64 pack; hair as thick as cold porridge; an effortless beard; a face that stops shits in the night and a bank balance that must be looking bigger by the nano second.

And now he can afford to make his wish come true and not go topless ALL the time. Oh, wait. I think he is still topless on this cover. Oh dear. And look, a student has popped the Photoshop brush on his face and made it look all Instagram.

Good job I’m not bitter. Nothing sounds worse than bitterness on-line. It’s awful. I just wish I could be Joe. Maybe if he would just bring out a book that made it all so very simple and sustainable and totally realistic. That would be great.